I just realized that I never followed up after receiving my little vials of aromatic magic. I ordered six vials, or imps as BPAL calls them, but they sent two extra samples. The samples were offensive, too masculine and overpowering. Of the imps that I selected, the two that I thought sounded the best from their sensual descriptions turned out to be the ones I liked the least. When I say liked the least, I mean I am tempted to throw them away because I dislike them so much. I do not recommend Hymn or Pannychis. After catching a whiff of them, it occurred to me that I do not care for jasmine or frankincense. The musky and flowery smells do not pair well with my senses. The four other imps were simply delightful and each one evoked a very distinct emotion and association.
BORDELLO: A decadent, deep perfume, lusty and luxuriant. The scent evokes images of velvet-lined Old West cathouses, tightly laced corsets, rustling petticoats and coquettish snarls of pleasure. Bawdy plum with amaretto, burgundy wine and black currant.
Bordello lives up to its description. It has a satisfying depth, while remaining sweet and libidinous. It is warm and cuts the chill of winter air. This one mixes delightfully with my body chemistry. It feels a little bit naughty, like I know a secret that no one else can know. Well, maybe one other person.
EVE: The spirit of temptation, the essence of lost innocence. Apple blossom, rose, ylang ylang and golden honey.
Eve is another sweet smell. It is summery and light and feminine. I think it is too airy and ethereal for winter. If my innocence was not already exhausted, it wouldn’t stand a chance while wearing this. I look forward to donning it once the temperatures start to rise. My only concern is that bees may follow me, detecting Eve’s nectarous goodness.
VICE: More Sin & Salvation. Voluptuous and indulgent! A deep chocolate scent, with black cherry and orange blossom.
Vice smells like Cherry Coke, but in all the right ways. I wore it on my birthday and it made me feel like a very alluring artisan cupcake. A male friend hugged me and told me I smelled like Easter candy. He couldn’t place which candy I smelled of, but he spent the remainder of the night trying to identify the smell. Any smell that stays on the mind of a platonic friend must be working some kind of magic.
ENVY: Part of the Sin and Salvation inspired group. Green herbs slithering through mint, lime and lavender.
Envy is earthy and sensual. It caught me off guard. It evokes the smell that a lady would have after cutting the grass on a humid summer evening. The sweet smell of sweat from honest hard work, clippings of greenery covering your ankles and the remainder of perfume lingering from morning. It smells of Michler’s greenhouses. Seasonally, it fits from the first sight of crocuses all the way through the first time you catch a chill after the sun goes down, the first time you get to wear your favorite hoodie and realize that things are about to change.
With the newfound knowledge of what I like and don’t care for, I will be ordering more from BPAL. I am certain that an ounce of Bordello will soon be in the mail to my address. I highly recommend just searching their descriptions. Alone the descriptions are enough to tantalize and excite.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I didn’t have the internet at my house for the past five weeks, thus no writing. I’ve missed it. Life has been filled with only the best. I received a turntable for Xmas. Not only was this an awesome thing to have, it was very symbolic for my current stage of life. In the past seven years, I there have been at least two record players in a prominent location in my home. Accompanying those record players were a collection of what ended up around 6,000 records. Music was always playing. Upon waking, during meals, while falling asleep, it was a constant. I have always felt very passionate about music. During these years, I was rarely the one that selected the music. Don’t get me wrong, I heard a lot of really good music and was exposed to things I would have never heard of otherwise. I am grateful for that music. However, stepping back from that situation, I’m realizing that my love for music went by the wayside. When I was alone at home, it was my rare opportunity to enjoy silence. Now that I am on my own, I am rediscovering the profound effect that music has on my life, how much I have missed it in my life. It’s as though music was hijacked for years. Living alone, with my own record player and my own records that I bought with my own money, I have been so moved by the depth and beauty that can be amplified then projected through speakers as a result of a needle falling into the grooves on a piece of vinyl. Grateful that I have the ability to hear and process that sound, then translate it into impulses that release chemicals that incite euphoria. The process of listening to a record, the loving act of carefully removing it from its cover, attentively placing the needle into the indentations and closing the cover gently as to not cause the needle to jump is a process. Dare I say it is a ritual? Having the pleasure of sitting and listening for about 25 minutes, then having to get up and do it all over again. Most of the records I have been enjoying lately are new releases. They lack the dust and age that gives them the snapcracklepops that records are known and loved for. Regardless, the sound is so much richer. The depth cannot even be compared to other forms of media. Even with speakers of the highest quality, other mediums sound flat and emotionless compared to vinyl. The last time I recall sitting and listening to a record, really listening, not just hearing it, was in middle school. After Denali goes to bed, a record goes on the platter and I sit in amazement at this newly rediscovered form of beauty in my life.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Are you there, Mr. Brezney? It's me, Lauren
I do love him so. He is an astrologer/writer. The good kind of astrologer; possibly the only one, ever. He writes Free Will Astrology. It is lyrical and poetic while being insightful yet leaving out the new age hippie dip that often accompanies any mention of the zodiac. My horoscope for this week:
You've arrived at a delicate yet boisterous turning point when one-of-a-kind opportunities are budding. I'm going to give you seven phrases that I think capture the essence of this pregnant moment:
1. wise innocence;
2. primal elegance;
3. raw holiness;
4. electrifying poise;
5. curative teasing;
6. rigorous play;
7 volcanic tenderness.
To maximize your ability to capitalize on the transformations that are available, I suggest you seek out and cultivate these seemingly paradoxical states of being.
Be still, my beating heart!
You've arrived at a delicate yet boisterous turning point when one-of-a-kind opportunities are budding. I'm going to give you seven phrases that I think capture the essence of this pregnant moment:
1. wise innocence;
2. primal elegance;
3. raw holiness;
4. electrifying poise;
5. curative teasing;
6. rigorous play;
7 volcanic tenderness.
To maximize your ability to capitalize on the transformations that are available, I suggest you seek out and cultivate these seemingly paradoxical states of being.
Be still, my beating heart!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
olefactory anticipation
After years of faithful subscribing to BUST magazine, I have seen advertisements for Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab for ages. It wasn't until Thanksgiving Day, while making my sweet potato casserole, that it occurred to me that I should look them up. While adding the prescribed spices to the mix, I reached for my secret ingredient, cardamom. Cardamom must be the most intoxicating scent ever created. It is sweet and spicy, yet lightly pungent. It is heavenly in foods and goes well with anything with cinnamon. I like to think of cardamom as cinnamon's unpopular and intelligent cousin that doesn't realize how awesome she really is. Upon opening the jar, I wanted to smell like it all the time. So, I opened up the BPAL website and fell in love.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that I hate perfume. I think 99% of them smell like harsh chemicals. I can't imagine how people could get a whiff of it and think that they would want to smell like that all the time. Yuck. I have worked around too many people that do not realize how obnoxious and potent their chosen scent is. That being said, I have often wanted to have a smell of my own. A brand, if you will. Nothing sends me instantly back to a different time and place teaming with memories like a familiar, forgotten smell. I once was hugged after a day in the sun and the person told me I, "smelled great, like the beach and sweaty Lauren." Since that day, I've worn Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen, thinking of that comment each time I lather it on. So, with cardamom in mind, I went in search of my own smell.
The BPAL website is interesting. There all sorts of different groups of scents to choose from. Ones inspired by dragons, deadly sins, Egypt, whorehouses and the like. I quickly became overwhelmed by all the choices and decided to search for potions containing cardamom. I was in heaven. The descriptions of the blends are as sensual as the potions themselves. After about an hour of searching, I narrowed the field to six sweet scents:
BORDELLO: A decadent, deep perfume, lusty and luxuriant. The scent evokes images of velvet-lined Old West cathouses, tightly laced corsets, rustling petticoats and coquettish snarls of pleasure. Bawdy plum with amaretto, burgundy wine and black currant.
ENVY: Part of the Sin and Salvation inspired group. Green herbs slithering through mint, lime and lavender.
HYMN: Also part of the Sin and Salvation group. A paean to true holiness, spiritual purity, and sacred enlightenment. Based on an incense blend sacred to the Virgin Mary: perfect rose absolute and Palestinian Lily of the Valley with olibanum, labdanum, frankincense and myrrh.
PANNYCHIS: An attendant of the Goddess Venus. She presides over nocturnal pleasure, nighttime festivities, and all the joy and delight that can be found in the darkness. In later ages, it became the name of the all-night festival that closed the Eleusinian Mysteries. Night-blooming jasmine, moonflower, cardamom, sandalwood, black currant, ylang ylang, frankincense and lily.
VICE: More Sin & Salvation. Voluptuous and indulgent! A deep chocolate scent, with black cherry and orange blossom.
EVE: The spirit of temptation, the essence of lost innocence. Apple blossom, rose, ylang ylang and golden honey.
Once you find a scent that entices, there are forums for each potion. There are reviews that are luscious and tantalizing. Mentions of fore notes and after notes, how they smell in the bottle, wet and dry. Descriptions of the feeling each potion evokes, such as,
"This makes me feel ultra girly, soft, maybe even a bit vulnerable. Feel like I should be wearing a pink dress with frills. Over the past hour of wear i have to admit it makes me feel a lil dreamy, and I have the sudden urge to watch Molly Ringwald movies."
Waiting for a package to arrive is always exciting, but this one, more so. I ordered my vials of goodness on Black Friday. The BPAL site says that it takes 14-21 days to receive your potions, as they are all hand blended upon order to ensure their freshness. I find myself giddy to check the mailbox each afternoon, hoping for a package that contains the new smell of me. The anticipation is killing me.
Let me preface the rest of this post by saying that I hate perfume. I think 99% of them smell like harsh chemicals. I can't imagine how people could get a whiff of it and think that they would want to smell like that all the time. Yuck. I have worked around too many people that do not realize how obnoxious and potent their chosen scent is. That being said, I have often wanted to have a smell of my own. A brand, if you will. Nothing sends me instantly back to a different time and place teaming with memories like a familiar, forgotten smell. I once was hugged after a day in the sun and the person told me I, "smelled great, like the beach and sweaty Lauren." Since that day, I've worn Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen, thinking of that comment each time I lather it on. So, with cardamom in mind, I went in search of my own smell.
The BPAL website is interesting. There all sorts of different groups of scents to choose from. Ones inspired by dragons, deadly sins, Egypt, whorehouses and the like. I quickly became overwhelmed by all the choices and decided to search for potions containing cardamom. I was in heaven. The descriptions of the blends are as sensual as the potions themselves. After about an hour of searching, I narrowed the field to six sweet scents:
BORDELLO: A decadent, deep perfume, lusty and luxuriant. The scent evokes images of velvet-lined Old West cathouses, tightly laced corsets, rustling petticoats and coquettish snarls of pleasure. Bawdy plum with amaretto, burgundy wine and black currant.
ENVY: Part of the Sin and Salvation inspired group. Green herbs slithering through mint, lime and lavender.
HYMN: Also part of the Sin and Salvation group. A paean to true holiness, spiritual purity, and sacred enlightenment. Based on an incense blend sacred to the Virgin Mary: perfect rose absolute and Palestinian Lily of the Valley with olibanum, labdanum, frankincense and myrrh.
PANNYCHIS: An attendant of the Goddess Venus. She presides over nocturnal pleasure, nighttime festivities, and all the joy and delight that can be found in the darkness. In later ages, it became the name of the all-night festival that closed the Eleusinian Mysteries. Night-blooming jasmine, moonflower, cardamom, sandalwood, black currant, ylang ylang, frankincense and lily.
VICE: More Sin & Salvation. Voluptuous and indulgent! A deep chocolate scent, with black cherry and orange blossom.
EVE: The spirit of temptation, the essence of lost innocence. Apple blossom, rose, ylang ylang and golden honey.
Once you find a scent that entices, there are forums for each potion. There are reviews that are luscious and tantalizing. Mentions of fore notes and after notes, how they smell in the bottle, wet and dry. Descriptions of the feeling each potion evokes, such as,
"This makes me feel ultra girly, soft, maybe even a bit vulnerable. Feel like I should be wearing a pink dress with frills. Over the past hour of wear i have to admit it makes me feel a lil dreamy, and I have the sudden urge to watch Molly Ringwald movies."
Waiting for a package to arrive is always exciting, but this one, more so. I ordered my vials of goodness on Black Friday. The BPAL site says that it takes 14-21 days to receive your potions, as they are all hand blended upon order to ensure their freshness. I find myself giddy to check the mailbox each afternoon, hoping for a package that contains the new smell of me. The anticipation is killing me.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
beginning of greatness
After a November 1st post on Facebook about having a great day, my friend pointed out that I posted it on the first day of November. I hoped that the first day of the month was an indication of the rest of the month. It was. November was an excellent month. One of the best of my life. (I feel guilty saying that. After Denali was born, those were life changing and amazing months. However, I haven’t had to be up at all hours of the night, change diapers, or adjust to having to be responsible for a little new life.) December is my favorite month. My birthday, winter break from school, the culmination of another year and circle around the sun. It snows for the first time. My sister comes to town and I get to be with family and friends. Solstice brings more light each day. Things start getting brighter in December. It occurred to me last night that today was the first day of the month and that I needed to make it a really positive day. I woke up late, fussed at Denali and had to rush to get out of the door on time, which was really ten minutes later than usual. In the car, I apologized to Denali and he was very sweet and told me that I didn’t need to apologize, he had already forgiven me. He is truly such a sweet little soul. We started over and He got out of the car in a happy mood. In the car, I was thinking about acts of service and how I can perform more. It struck me that my job is an act of service. I love my job. I work with great people, have relatively little stress and I get to laugh a lot. Five days a week, I am providing a service to others. I was reminded that I need to make sure that my service was provided with a cheerful heart. I walked into my office, to find a little trophy and Hershey Kisses on my desk. The trophy is the LHS Lifesaver Award. Teachers pass it onto another teacher each week and fill it with candy. The teacher that passed it on to me is always happy and always asks how you are doing. “How are you?” gets on my nerves. It is such an overused phrase and most times, it feels rote, without feeling. This teacher always asks and always means it. She always has a smile on her face. She recognized me for my commitment to recycling at school. Last year, I created The Green Team. It is a group of my students that are responsible for all of the recycling for the entire school. Every other day, we travel around the school emptying the recycling bins in each class. It has been a great success and the students are able to work on vocational skills. It has shown regular education students that their peers with disabilities can be contributing members of our community. We have students that range from high functioning to low functioning. The best part of it is students watching kids that they would otherwise think of as having no functional skills, pushing a trash can or emptying recycling into the Rosies. This little thing perked up what was already a bright day.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I'm a curvy girl, in a Barbie world
A friend recently asked me, "If you were walking down the street and saw yourself, would you want to get with you?" I quickly decided that I wouldn't be attracted to myself. She asked what would need to change in order to make me be attracted to myself. My go-to answer was to lose weight. It is such a life long habit of being unhappy with my body, it came as second nature. My brain snapped back and I realized that, for the first time, possibly ever, I am satisfied with my body. There were plenty of years where my body was great. Those years came before environmental feminism classes. Before growing, birthing and sustaining another life. Before I ever saw a real life Venus of Willendorf. Those were the days of stealing and reading my sister's Seventeen and YM. (Sassy shaped me too, but it still had thin models) Those were days before I was able to accept another standard of beauty. I have felt accepting of a standard of beauty for other women's bodies, but unable to do so with my own. I'm not sure what has caused this seemingly sudden appreciation and acceptance of my skin. No matter what the cause, it is a novel and thrilling feeling to look in the mirror and relish in the reflection. I am grateful for a healthy body, for all the little abilities that I take for granted, and for the cognitive ability to make decisions about what is best for my body.
Friday, November 5, 2010
First things first. My horoscope from Mr. Brezney for this week:
I think you can handle more hubbub and uproar than you realize. I also suspect you're capable of integrating more novelty, and at a faster rate, than the members of all the other signs of the zodiac. That's why I think you should consider interpreting what's happening in your life right now as "interesting adventures" instead of "disorienting chaos." The entire universe is set up to help you thrive on what non-Sagittarians might regard as stressful.
Novelty equals newness, yes? So I'm able to bring more new elements into my life this week. Bring it on. Some novelty is a welcome addition to my life. The past week has been exceptionally good. I got my new car which has shed a whole new era of hopefulness into my life. It is a lot nicer and newer that was hoping to get and in excellent condition. Life with friends has been phenomenal and extensive. My house is clean and I have taken care of business that I have been avoiding. I have been much more productive at work this week because I have been feeling better.
I have been working a spiritual program since July 2009. I can tell a big difference in my life, in my outlook and thinking. It burns me up that after the work that I have done, I still make mistakes. I realize that I need to go easy on myself, but I'm selfish. I want so much from the comparatively little work that I have done. While I have been try to improve consciously for a little over a year, I am working to undo 25 years of building a sense of control over things that I have no power over.
This all ties in with my general theme of impatience in the recent weeks. I want everything now. I wanted things to be settled between Darin and I. I didn't want to feel sad any more. I wanted to buy a house. I wanted to buy a new car. I wanted to be admitted to grad school. I wanted to figure out how to be a better person and once I figure it out, I don't want to make mistakes any more. I act like I am some kind of princess, entitled to everything I want, when I want it. It is such a lie and faulty thinking. Things have settled between Darin and I. I feel firm in where I stand in that situation. I have bought a new car. It is better than I expected to get. I have dropped out of the home buying program because I think that is one too many things to deal with right now. I am submitting my letters of recommendation for grad school this week. Things are falling into place. They are falling into such wonderful places, that I am still humbled and amazed at my life. All of this beauty and providence would probably still fallen into place as it has if I hadn't stressed and wanted to control so much. It is so dumb and childish.
I am in awe this cyclical pattern of lessons. Frustrated, but still in awe.
I think you can handle more hubbub and uproar than you realize. I also suspect you're capable of integrating more novelty, and at a faster rate, than the members of all the other signs of the zodiac. That's why I think you should consider interpreting what's happening in your life right now as "interesting adventures" instead of "disorienting chaos." The entire universe is set up to help you thrive on what non-Sagittarians might regard as stressful.
Novelty equals newness, yes? So I'm able to bring more new elements into my life this week. Bring it on. Some novelty is a welcome addition to my life. The past week has been exceptionally good. I got my new car which has shed a whole new era of hopefulness into my life. It is a lot nicer and newer that was hoping to get and in excellent condition. Life with friends has been phenomenal and extensive. My house is clean and I have taken care of business that I have been avoiding. I have been much more productive at work this week because I have been feeling better.
I have been working a spiritual program since July 2009. I can tell a big difference in my life, in my outlook and thinking. It burns me up that after the work that I have done, I still make mistakes. I realize that I need to go easy on myself, but I'm selfish. I want so much from the comparatively little work that I have done. While I have been try to improve consciously for a little over a year, I am working to undo 25 years of building a sense of control over things that I have no power over.
This all ties in with my general theme of impatience in the recent weeks. I want everything now. I wanted things to be settled between Darin and I. I didn't want to feel sad any more. I wanted to buy a house. I wanted to buy a new car. I wanted to be admitted to grad school. I wanted to figure out how to be a better person and once I figure it out, I don't want to make mistakes any more. I act like I am some kind of princess, entitled to everything I want, when I want it. It is such a lie and faulty thinking. Things have settled between Darin and I. I feel firm in where I stand in that situation. I have bought a new car. It is better than I expected to get. I have dropped out of the home buying program because I think that is one too many things to deal with right now. I am submitting my letters of recommendation for grad school this week. Things are falling into place. They are falling into such wonderful places, that I am still humbled and amazed at my life. All of this beauty and providence would probably still fallen into place as it has if I hadn't stressed and wanted to control so much. It is so dumb and childish.
I am in awe this cyclical pattern of lessons. Frustrated, but still in awe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)