In ten days, I'll be turning 28. I found my first gray hair this week. It made me really happy. To me, it represents age and with that age, experiences that make me into a wiser person that is better able to deal with life. The past year has been the best year of my life. I have been able to discover adult Lauren. I have found a lot of freedom in rebelling against the things I used to rebel against. It is nice to feel more normal and not like such an outcast or black sheep. Realizing that the label of being a black sheep is one that was self imposed. It has been comforting to fit in, but still maintain myself.

The major things that I have learned in the past year:
-That I seek validation from others to feel lovable and that I'm messing myself up by doing that.
-That I don't have to keep doing things I have always done
-That circumstances may change, but I still carry stuff from place to place.
-That I don't have to have an opinion on things that don't concern me
-To keep my mouth shut

While all of these things are valuable, the biggest changes I have seen in myself are the last two. It is very freeing to recognize that I don't have anything to do with a situation, so I don't have to comment on it. I don't have to share my thoughts on the things, because everyone has their opinions and by telling someone, I am not going to change their thoughts. Being in a former relationship full of opinions and rebellions, it has been a breath of fresh air to be neutral.

This whole year has been a big new breath of air. Clearing out the old stale air, taking in a lung full of new cleaner air. My lungs have felt restricted and retarded for some time and I am finally feeling them expand and be able to take in more than ever before.