manic panic

Today is the absolute last day before school starts for me to stay home. I had planned to work today to get ready, but I decided last night that I would stay home instead. I'm glad I did.

I'm feeling rather unhappy with my life today. I am a consumer, and I consume too much. I am very frugal and buy most things at thrift stores (usually on half price days, at that) and I have a general rule that I don't spend more than $10 on any article of clothing. I do shop to make myself feel better or when I am bored. I don't do it too often, maybe twice a month, but it really bothers me. It makes me feel like a spoiled American. I desire too many physical things.

The one thing I want the most right now is a house. I want to buy a house and decorate it. I want to buy a house that is clean to begin with, so I can keep it clean. Currently, we have outrageously cheap rent for a 5 bedroom home. The landlord has not raised the rent in over 30 years. It is a good house, full of good energy. Various friends have lived in our house for the past 20 years, filling it with art and love. All of the couples that have lived here are still together. Club Dub started in our laundry room. Two babies have entered this world in our dining room. We are allowed to make changes and paint in any way we want. The backyard is great, with a fire pit, a tire swing, clubhouse and our trampoline. But in exchange for all the good stuff, there are a lot of things that drive me crazy. If we don't run the dehumidifier, the laundry room starts smelling very musty. There aren't enough outlets in the house. One room only has one. The electrical stuff is all old. The bathtub freezes when it is cold, even if we leave the water running all night. The kitchen is small and impossible to clean. everything is impossible to clean. everything is jerryrigged in some fashion. There isn't a 90 degree angle in the whole house. I could go on for a while. This is our home and it is filled with our family and our love. We have it decorated with things we love. We have had more than one person say it is like a museum. I still haven't decided if that is a good thing.

Regardless of this, I want a house of my own. I want to fill it with nice pieces of furniture, ones that I have collected, not things that friends or family members are getting rid of. I have a few nice pieces of furniture that I really treasure. They have sentimental meaning and I want to have them in a nice, clean house. I have fantasized and looked at the Lexington Realtors website, drooling over pictures. My ideal house would be inside New Circle Road, possibly close to the Rosemont Graden area. It would be a 4 bedroom, so the girls could have their own rooms. In order to accommodate all of Darin's musical instruments, we would need a basement, garage, or spare bedroom. It would have lots of windows and a large kitchen, but no tile floors. I drop lots of things in the kitchen and if there were tile floors, everything kitchenware I own would be broken in a matter of months. The upstairs could be a special, secluded area that the girls could make into their own special space.

Lately my desire to purchase a house has been gaining momentum. I doubt we will anytime soon, but a girl can always dream.